Rules We Make For Ourselves
by TheGirlWhoRemembers
Summary: Desi realizes that she's done something even stupider than hiking into the crater of an active volcano. Meanwhile, after talking to Mac, Jack worries about both of his younger friends, fearing they might break each other's hearts, however unintentionally. Tag to 3.20, No-Go and High Voltage and Rescue.


AN: Spoilers for 3.20, No-Go + High Voltage + Rescue, both in the story, and my AN at the end.

* * *

**DESI'S CAR**

**ON-ROUTE TO A FANCY RESTAURANT**

**(WELL, SORTA)**

**LA**

* * *

Somewhere in the Hills, Desi pulled over, parked her car, and took a deep breath, staring at herself in the rear-view mirror.

'What are you doing, Desiree Nguyen?'

She gave a snort as, of course, her reflection didn't answer, crossing her arms.

What she'd just done, stopping by at Mac's, all dressed up, when it wasn't even on her way to the restaurant (where she was meeting Connor, her date for the evening – decidedly _not _a co-worker, ex-SEAL, currently a rising star in the CIA, so knew he couldn't ask about shop, but she didn't have to keep up heavy pretences with him either), that was _stupid._

Stupider than that bet that'd had her hiking into an active volcano's crater.

Way stupider.

Desi bit her lip, looking at her reflection again, suddenly looking and feeling so much younger.

(Vulnerable and stupid.)

Then, she shook her head again, muttering half to herself.

She was not some silly teenager. She wasn't even some foolish twenty-something.

(Desi might be only thirty, but she had seen enough and done enough and lived enough for someone at least twice her age, she thought, sometimes.)

She'd done the whole do-stupid-shit-because-of-boys thing years ago.

She was smart and sensible and tough and strong and _like a boss _and she had her rules for a _reason._

Except now she was apparently breaking them.

He wasn't even her _type._ Too much of a pretty boy. Not enough of an edge to him. Too _young, _too much of a _kid _left in him, somehow…even if he was bringing it out in her. Somehow. She appreciated the intelligent man, but Mac was a whole other kind of smart. _Big Bang Theory, _over-her-head smart. She admitted it was useful, and made him the best of the best in their field, but she also probably didn't _understand _half of uncensored Mac. He was also a dork. Desi wasn't into dorks. At all.

Except apparently she was now.

Desi didn't do group debriefs. Desi didn't make friends with her co-workers.

Desi certainly didn't have stupid crushes on co-workers…nor did she sorta, kinda, maybe wish her date for the evening was a co-worker.

Except apparently she did now.

God damn it.

A favour to Jack (because she owed him, big, big time) was not supposed to wind up being this complicated.

It was not supposed to make her want to throw out her _rules. _It was not supposed to make her _stupid._

And it was absolutely not supposed to give her this stupid sorta-kinda-maybe _crush._

Angus MacGyver was not supposed to get under her skin and in her head.

(And even maybe into her heart, a voice that sounded like Desi's mom pointed out.)

Desi shook her head again, a shadow of a wry little smile appearing on her face.

Keeping Mac out of things he was not supposed to get into was apparently impossible.

She took a deep breath, and pushed that stupid little crush into a box, locked it and mentally threw away the key. She admonished herself one more time for acting like a silly teenage girl, then re-started her car, driving towards the restaurant again.

An evening with a handsome (but not pretty), smart (but not too smart), just-enough-of-a-gentleman, definitely-not-a-dork, slightly older man who was not a co-worker was _exactly _what she needed.

* * *

**MACGYVER'S RESIDENCE**

**LA**

* * *

'…yeah, she stopped by for a couple minutes, but she, uh, had to go.' Mac flopped down in his desk chair as he video-called Jack. 'She, um, had a prior engagement. A date.'

He was decidedly not thinking about why he didn't like that idea.

Just like he was decidedly not thinking about Desi's little red lace dress, and told himself that his fascination with her earrings had to do with the way they were clearly delicately, perfectly balanced and had great aerodynamics.

'…anyway, did you know she once hiked into the crater of an active volcano? For a _bet_?'

* * *

**CLASSIFIED LOCATION**

**SOMEWHERE IN EASTERN EUROPE**

* * *

_Uh, oh._

That was what went through Jack's head as Mac prattled on about the stupid things Dez had done, some stories that Jack had heard before, some he hadn't.

Mac and Dez.

He had _not _seen that coming.

Mac had a weakness for a beautiful, intelligent, badass lady, which Dez definitely was, but from what he knew 'bout Dez's preferences, Mac really wasn't her type.

(Maybe he shouldn't be too surprised; his boy was the _best, _and you couldn't help but love him…then again, he wasn't Jack's type either.)

And so soon?

(He had to admit, it hurt a little. Made him feel like he was being well and truly properly replaced.)

(A little voice in his head that sounded just like his boy admonished him for that, reminding him that they were _family. _No matter what.)

As Mac continued to talk, oblivious, a look on his face that Jack had seen before, years ago now, when a certain confident, blonde analyst with a penchant for innuendo had turned his brain to mush, Jack sighed internally, concerned for both of his friends.

He hated to be so negative, especially given how their love lives had been in the past, and how hard it was to find someone in their line of work…but his gut instinct told him that someone was going to get hurt.

Really, really hurt.

(And it wasn't just that slight, niggling doubt as to whether they'd even make a good couple. Would they ever stop arguing? How much patience did Dez have with Mac's tendency towards mad science, which drove even Bozer spare sometimes? Given that Mac was pretty much an overgrown human Golden Retriever, how much patience would he have with Dez's prickliness?)

(To be fair, he and Mac bickered all the time, and he didn't have much patience with the science his boy lived and breathed, and he'd gotten past Dez's prickles…sorta…so there was that.)

Dez had her rules. Jack knew she was relaxing some of them (as he'd hoped, when he'd asked her to join the Phoenix, take on his burden), but he also knew (unlike the rest of the team) _why _she had those rules.

Why some of them were so deep-seated, had such deep roots (such strong reasons) that there was no way Dez was ever going to break them.

(She might bend them a little, might toy with breaking them, during that first blush of attraction…but once her brain kicked back in – and it would; Jack had doubts on whether Mac's would re-form from the mush properly, but Dez's definitely would – she'd shut it down.)

And Mac…well, Jack knew that his young friend (the closest thing he'd ever have to a son) wanted a wife and kids and maybe a dog called Archimedes the Second.

A happily-ever-after, white-picket-fence style.

He might doubt that he'd get it, from time to time, but he wanted it oh, so badly.

And Mac was an optimist at heart.

But after Nasha, after what Murdoc had done to her, just for being Lois Lane to Mac's Superman…Jack also knew that Mac, being Mac (far too noble, far too self-sacrificing), had decided _never again._

He'd let Nasha go.

And made some solemn vow to himself that he'd never, ever put an innocent woman in danger like that again.

But Dez was a special kind of woman. There weren't many (if any) on the planet who could take care of herself like Dez.

So, perhaps, Mac's subconscious (and it had to be Mac's subconscious – he'd beat himself up badly for it if he ever learned he was doing it) had twisted things a little, or exaggerated them, or even created something from nothing or not-much or something else.

Maybe it wasn't about simply wanting, for its own sake, but wanting what you could have, because you couldn't have anything else, since it was against the rules.

(Your rules.)

And that…well, Jack didn't need to have been around the block a few times to know that that was really, really _bad _and was going to get really, really _messy._

He sighed again internally.

He didn't know, honestly.

He was too far away.

(And didn't that hurt?)

Maybe those feelings were real, and he was just worrying too much about Mac. (The peril of parenthood.)

Maybe those feelings, whatever they were now, would become real.

Or maybe, and something twisted painfully in his gut, in his heart, for these two people he loved, it was going to hit the fan and make a bigger mess than a sleep-deprived Mac who'd had four cans of Red Bull and a whole box of junk.

And since Kovac was a wily SOB, he wouldn't be there to deal with the fall-out.

Damn it.

Jack sent up a prayer to a God he sometimes wasn't sure he believed in that things would be okay.

For both their sakes.

* * *

AN: Or, in which an annoyed me writes a sort-of fix-it with a generous helping of meta? (Read on for a better impression of what I was trying to fix?)

Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it and my attempt to constantly create Jack content!

Thoughts on the ep: Uh…honestly, in my opinion, the weakest episode this season, and the one I take most issue with.

The mission itself (plus Mac having to confront his fear of heights, and the team choosing to risk themselves to save the backpackers) was perfectly fine and very _MacGyver, _but I took issue with three of the big plot points:

1\. Jim/Oversight sending them on it in the first place so blatantly and being such a softie and so nice in the whole thing! Tate Donovan and Meredith Eaton sold it pretty well in that little scene in the war room – and at least they acknowledged it – but I still think it's a little too far to the 'nice Jim/good dad Jim' side, cancer or no. I think there needed to be a bit more of a transition in terms of Jim's attitude that we didn't really get to see in my opinion. Alternatively…could it be that Jim is well and truly dying, and knows that he has very little time left? (That sort of thing could prompt what felt like a dramatic character shift…) Maybe this will be cleared up in the last two eps of this season…

2\. Mac/Desi. I confess I don't like this ship, but even doing my best to put that aside…so far, we've seen Mac/Desi moments, which could be shippy or could also (I think) be read more ambiguously, as friends/partners who have a bit of tension/awkwardness 'cause Mac's Mac and Desi's Desi (see the end of 3.18, Murdoc + Helman + Hit). Suddenly, in this ep, they are _very _blatantly pushing them as a romantic pairing, even more blatantly than they did with Mac/Cage. In my opinion, all the parts when they're pushing the romance (so Bozer and Riley are talking about it or Sparky's telling Bozer while Mac and Desi laugh in the background, or that scene at the end) were awkward and did not feel right. However, Mac and Desi's banter about who has done more stupid things, in the limo at the start and Desi singing on the electrical tower actually were pretty natural, and seemed to work okay…though I think it'd have been far more Desi if Desi then finished her explanation of the song with something snarky, like 'I've already put too much work into your security system to let you die 'cause you can't take heights, Gadget Boy' (with that little smile Levy Tran does so well, and with an answering shot of Lucas Till's face going 'well, that's Desi'). I just think that it was poorly done Mac/Desi, and if they're going to do it, they could at least do it in a way that makes sense, and is consistent with relationship development and characterization to date. In the case of Mac/Desi, I reckon that means more Mac being earnest and awkward, more Desi being soft one moment, prickly the next and confused!Mac/Mac suffering whiplash as a result, and a slow build with lots of time for their relationship to get closer and deeper. It also requires an exploration as to why Desi does not make friends with co-workers (preferably with the tragic backstory explored on a mission of some kind and emotionally-supportive!Mac), and because it's _MacGyver, _funny moments like the one in 3.17, Seeds + Permafrost + Feather's opening.

3\. Bozer and Riley's reaction to Mac/Desi. I'm not exactly surprised by Bozer freaking out in such a Bozer way, though I think Bozer pushed that a little too far, and could have done with a bit of a nudge on being happy for Mac? Though I suppose it's because he's so convinced that it's going to be a disaster and is just looking out for his BFF…I don't know, I think Riley's reaction was perfect, but Bozer's just felt a tiny bit off to me, for some reason…Also, there's either a continuity error, or Mac had crushes on two different chem lab partners while in middle/high school – Dinah, and Darlene?


End file.
